


𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔, 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

by spaceodditybarnes



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29066634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceodditybarnes/pseuds/spaceodditybarnes
Summary: in which you lose the love of your life, and he leaves a letter behind.
Relationships: Platonic Bucky Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Kudos: 15





	𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔, 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

**Author's Note:**

> 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 this is uh,,,some sad shit, angst, major character death, no happy ending, shit ending sorry, unedited
> 
> 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 i woke up and chose violence. am i sorry for this? you’ll never know :) loosely based off the events of avengers: age of ultron, but with bucky on the mission too. the ending for this literally sucks so bad, but i didn’t rly know how to end it so i left it where i felt it was best.

Standing at the podium, you stared down at the crowds of people gathered to celebrate the life of Steve Rogers. Uninvited paparazzi snapped pictures of the mourning team, although you had supposed that those pictures wouldn’t even be released – a private service would remain private, regardless of the swarms of hopeful journalists ready to get their big break.

“Steve Rogers was a gentle man,” you began reading from the eulogy written on crumpled paper. Looking at your friends, they gave you encouraging smiles, letting you know it’s okay to continue. “He spread kindness with every act he committed, and always did his absolute best for everyone he knew.”

As you spoke to the gathered crowd, videos and pictures of the fallen soldier were projected onto the white sheets that surrounded the service, and it had felt like your heart was shattering with the weight of it all. This was a pain that you didn’t want to shoulder, and you weren’t sure you could bear it for single second more.

Sensing the emotions about to completely overthrow you, Bucky pushed past the paparazzi clambering to get to the front, determined to not allow them to catch you when you were most vulnerable. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you, it’s okay.” He soothed, leading you down from the podium and into your empty chair.

The memorial service went by in a blur, and as you stared at the twins chatting with the team, you couldn’t help but feel anger at Pietro for not doing enough to save Steve. “Don’t do anything you’re going to regret, bug.” Bucky warned, bringing you a plate of food over. “I know what you’re thinking, and believe me he feels guilty as hell, but do not pin the blame on him.”

Deep down, you knew Bucky was right. You knew Steve’s death was at the fault of nobody but Ultron, but you needed someone to feel the pain you were feeling. “This is Tony’s fault. He hated Steve, maybe that’s why he created Ultron. Tony’s the reason Steve is gone.”

Bucky just sighed, knowing it was highly unlikely that you’d listen to anyone at this point. But still, he had to try. “I know it’s easy to blame people right now, bug, and believe me it’s okay to feel this way. But nobody is at fault here. I have known Steve since we were both kids, this has always been something he would’ve done.”

You let yourself listen to him, let him be the voice of reason soothing the ache deep in your bones. “I wish I got more time with him. Three years wasn’t enough.”

Three years would never have been enough. But three years was all you had. One thousand and ninety-five days of knowing Steve Rogers was all you had been granted, and you felt like the luckiest person on the planet to have been given that time.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this without him.” You confessed, looking at Bucky. “Steve was my best friend, and I feel so hopelessly lost without him. I know it’s cliche, and maybe soulmates don’t exist, but he was mine. And now, when I need him the most, he’s not here. And he’s never going to be here. And I can’t do this without him.”

Through hazy vision, you sensed Pietro and Natasha approaching, both with solemn expressions. “I am sorry I couldn’t save him, but he asked me to give this to you…” Pietro was regretful, handing you letter with a tiny sticker on the envelope; a tiny shield, representing all that you loved. All you could do was trace your name written in his handwriting, a soft smile as you noticed the little heart for a period. Your Steve, you thought, always so soft.

You waited until the service had ended properly, waited until you were in the comfort of your cosy Brooklyn apartment before reading the letter. Dressed in an old hoodie of Steve’s and some blue pajama pants, you carefully opened up the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. Attached, a single piece of red string and the tiniest scrap of leather from his suit.

_My dear Y/N_ , it read.

_I have written what feels like hundreds of these letters, and hid them around the apartment for you to find when you least expect it. If you are reading this particular one, it means that I am no longer with you and for that I am so sorry. To have been given three years with you feels like the most amazing luck possible, and I wish more than anything for more years._

_I know you are probably doubting your ability to go through life’s hardest moments without me there, and that you are feeling lost without me, but just know that you are the strongest person I have ever met. The way you carry yourself, and the way you exude light and hope has always inspired and motivated me. You are not alone, my sweet girl, I promise you that._

_We’ll meet again one day, baby, because I’ll wait forever for you. You’re my soulmate, and we’ll always find each other again come hell or high water. The red thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. Just like my love for you._

_Always yours,_

_Steve._


End file.
